Routine

She woke up as soon as the first rays of the sun hit her face. She turned her face away into the arms of the man sleeping beside her. He wasn't her husband, boy friend neither a lover. Just a friend, sharing an apartment in the city of Bangalore. Sunday morning came as a bliss after a non-stop 48 hours work on a new launch and an on ground activation, her body was physically tired and mentally drained when she hit the bed last night or to be more precise... today morning.

He had heard the door clink. Obviously he couldn't sleep a wink till she came home at 3 A.M. Seeing him she smiled and wasn't surprised at all. He too was tired working on International projects, Brand Manager indeed came with a lot of trade-off - Sleep, Hunger and worst still working in different Time Zones with no time to get over jet lags. His tired eyes sent the same message to her. They needed to sleep.

She went in for a quick shower and wanted to wear something comfortable. She went into his room opened his cupboard and pulled out his favourite white shirt. Buttoned up and was ready to sleep. He was going through his reports a quick recap of events that occurred in the company here during his absence (that is when he was in Chicago working on the same damn thing). He saw her go from her room to his, wearing her red bath robe and back to her room wearing his shirt. He couldn't help but notice that how beautifully gorgeous she looked tonight. He loved her immensely and when he held her each time his heart still skipped a beat.

Natives of Mumbai, postgraduates in MBA from Marketing, Bangalore was not difficult to adjust to - One metro to other. But staying together made their life more easier than they thought. They had separate rooms attached bathrooms and they respected each others' space as much. There were times they slept on the same bed. But nothing more than that. He didn't know how would he ever tell her. He knew for sure if he asked her out she wouldn't say no because she never had ever said a no to him. But he knew it wouldn't be right. He had known her for 5 years now. She had ended a 4 and half year relationship 3 years back. And he very well knew what damage it had done to her. Her belief in the institution of marriage had shaken. Thank god for once she had expressed and come to him. And he could help. Both found excellent career options in Bangalore and they lived together. Resistance from families were obvious but they couldn't have cared less and after one and half year now, finally families got used to it.

He finally got up from the couch and went to her room as a routine to wish her good night. She had cuddled inside her soft white blanket and was just about to drop to sleep when she opened her eyes to the creak of the door. He walked in sat beside her and ran his hand through her wet hair and then gently patting her forehead tried to put her off to sleep. She always loved his warm hands running through her hair. He bent and placed a light kiss on her forehead and whispered a "Good Night". She locked her cold hands into his palms. He was beginning to feel tired too. But watching her sleep was the most sinful moment ever. He rested beside her holding her close to his heart and putting her off to sleep. He noticed the white shirt again and tried to control his feelings. And the tiredness started to take control over him. She had cuddled into him completely and was in deep sleep. He drowsed off too holding her close. This was the most peaceful moment that he was waiting for weeks now. He felt he deserved it.

She held him close not wanting him to go. She was too tired to word anything. This was the only way she could stop him. She held him closer when he completely rested himself beside her. She was going to have the best sleep tonight. A much needed one. In spite of all the work and drama they made sure they stayed in touch and kept each other updated. She loved the way things were working. And wanted to take it to the next step. But how? She did not know. She loved him like crazy.

From the day she first saw him in the college during her post graduation degree she was impressed. Soon they became close friends and she made sure no feelings she had would interfere the committed relationship she was in. But things tossed on her personal front but she didn't want to get into an another one. Besides she knew he was hurt too. He always ended up having relationships that lasted not more than an year. One year he would invest all the love he had and then find it difficult to get over her. She didn't want her to become one among those. As much as possible she kept her feelings latent and made sure he never gets to know what her true feelings were. She hated the fact that she had to hide things from him. A pact between them was non-verbally decided that they never hide things from each other. Smallest to minutest things were shared and worked on together. This could not be worked on and she knew it well. Each time his arm came over her shoulders or when he held her close to him a shudder went through her. Each time he complimented her he always had that mischievous smirk on his face & she would blush and would let it off by either laughing or looking away and smiling.

She opened her eyes finally at around 1 P.M. finding him still there sleeping like a baby. She smiled and kissed his cheek. He stirred and gently opened his eyes to find her smiling. He loved his life. He held her close again and tried cuddling her up to sleep. She was wide awake but lazy enough to get up from the bed. She kept looking at him. He would open his eyes look at her, sometimes wink sometimes just ask wassup in an almost mute volume. Each time she would smile and reply to him in the same volume. He finally turned and opened his eyes and looked back into her smiling eyes. He kissed her on her cheeks, close to her lips as always,

"Good morning, so what's the plan for the day?"a routine question. She did not want to even move a muscle and just remain on the bed buried in his arms and... no she did not want to think further. "Let's stick around on the bed and rest to glory. Maybe catch up a movie at home itself. What say?"

Suggestion was agreed upon by stretching his arms wide and letting the laziness away from his body. She found him the cutest when he did that. She finally got up from the bed to make coffee for both them.

It was an another routine Sunday at home...

Please check the number you have dialled

I finally bought a BB to stay in touch with everyone... on the move, as I sleep, eat, walk, somewhere, anywhere, everywhere! Stay in touch... but with whom? I wait for it to beep, buzz or ring. None of it happens. Ah! forget the wait. I shall call or message everyone. I open the contact list trying to find those names. Those names that I hanged out at Chota. Oh right I must have saved them by nicknames. I don't do that normally. Maybe years back I did. No items I tried searching were there.

All I could find were contacts of my bosses, clients, vendors, suppliers and some relatives... Where did my other contacts go? I am sure I took backup... I had all my contacts... But none can I connect with. It says 'connection error'. How long has it been? 6 years... Or is it 5? But how does that matter! Isn't it supposed to be 'friends for life'. Who said so then? Finally found the name of my childhood buddy.

Phone rings... My heart beat races... the ring goes off and I hear a voice,
"Hello"
"Hi... Ssup?" I say in my usual tone - all excited
"Who's this?"
"Its me... Anu"
"Wrong no!"

I hear a click and the line goes dead...

Crash & Burn

The pin kept pricking me... twice now! And I didn't feel a thing. Was I becoming immune? Sitting alone. The only light in the darkness was that of the phone display. Patience... Calm... Couldn't!

I waited for the day to unfold. Waiting for the darkness to be engulfed by the sun. Stars looked beautiful tonight... Scattered... Just like my thoughts. I felt weary, tired and more so disgusted. Introspect... What am I doing wrong? I knew what was wrong but couldn't undo it.

Learnt a lesson, you change with times, adjust according to situations, mould, swim with the current. But people DON'T. Worst still fail to understand. Move on... Get over it... Why can't one understand something as simple as that. I felt tired, drained but my eyes didn't wink of sleep. They were teary... That's when you feel vague, futile and more so useless. The agony aunt today can't solve her own problems. I have the solutions but it won't be taken well as he is still stuck... 500 kms away!

Tired... Not given up yet but definitely tired! Still waiting for day break... Is it time then? To take a decision...

When the wait was over...

She felt lonely and more so when she stood in crowd. Everything around her was festive. People hugged each other, greeting joyfully with kids running around. The house was beautifully decorated. Garlands of lights and flowers ran through the inside and outside the house. But within her darkness still prevailed. She was dressed up for the festivities but nothing within her felt good. She looked in the crowd to find those same eyes who appreciated what she wore or just that one look did. He no longer was there in her life. She thought no one could take his place. But someone did.

Today she wore his favourite coloured saree, matching bangles and the payal that he had gifted her. There was still something missing. Those eyes that said, "You look beautiful". Those lips that would kiss her forehead when he met her. His arms that held her close to her heart. Today she dressed to make herself feel happy. Colours always made her feel good.

So there she was sitting on the stairs staring at the bangles her eyes were moist now. A group of cousins come to greet her. She stood to greet them, swallowing her tears. Smiled which was fake, laughed when her heart cried and danced a bit when she felt paralysed. She felt lonely. A fallacy! How wrong she was...

He stood leaning on the pillar. Observing the colour, festivities, people and kids running around but nothing caught his attention as much as she did. He was watching her for a long time. Surprisingly she never noticed him. In fact there were times when she looked through him.

Something about her was alluding. He wanted to know her... speak to her... Just be there for her. He saw the silent tears that filled her eyes and when she gulped it in when her cousins came to greet her. His eyes never met hers. And that disturbed him. He felt he waited enough. "What the heck! What am I to lose?" he murmured to himself. And started walking to where she was standing. She turned to find a good looking guy wearing an Indian attire with a warm smile and enchanting eyes. A natural smile she returned.

"Hi, Awesome decoration... Great house, aint it?" he tried starting the conversation. She got a hint that he had no clue who she was, the daughter of the house. It was her sister's wedding and he might be jijju's side of the family, she assumed, "Yup, thank you!" she replied trying to give him a hint. He was smart enough to get that and continued, "Your home, yeah? Sister's wedding... then why are you here? Shouldn't you be near the vidhi area?" After he spoke he realised it was too direct and none of his business. But something within him wanted her to smile, rejoice and enjoy. She was a little taken aback by the way this conversation was heading. She felt closing herself more... But his charm, smile and warmth did it all. She wanted to talk.

"Ya was going there in sometime. Had some work here", she lied. "How do you know, jijju?"
"Childhood friends! Wasn't around for the enagagement, mehendi and sangeet. Was caught in an important deal. Wedding however, just couldn't miss it."
"Childhood friend?? Oh so you are Akash?? Jijju spoke a lot about you. Rather bragged."
"Oh... he tends to that... wonder why doesn't he save me from this embarrassment!"
"Embarrassed? He spoke highly of you. What you achieved in your career in such a short time span is commendable."
"He is no less right? But I don't do that to him"
"Really?? He differed on that." , she smiled almost letting a laugh.

He smirked and nodded his head. When he again looked at her, he saw her eyes; well done makeup but couldn't hide her solitude that crept from within. She knew everything about him. Didi and Jijju had spoken a lot. Reason being they wanted to hitch them. She wondered if he knew and this is why came to speck to her. But then he didn't know who she was. Was he pretending? He was smart, intelligent and his smile, she didn't even want to think about that now. He was well-mannered, stood tall and seemed someone with all the "gentleman" like qualities. Something about him was captivating.

She could see her 'girl' cousins eyeing him like a candy. She smiled at them. He turned to see where she looked over his shoulders. He waved a 'hi' to all of them and turned back. Her cousins were jittery and faked as though they were fainting. She giggled a bit looking at them.

That's all he wanted. The silence between them broke when the pandit announced its time for the Pheras. Everybody scrammed to the wedding area. People made way by pushing her by mistake. He held her by her shoulder while she held his hand. She felt nice and happy after long time. The awkward moment had passed and they started walking with a small distance between them.

Didi and Jijju saw them come in together. Didi winked at her and asked how he was just by a nod and moving her brow. He wasn't looking then. She just signalled her, "We'll talk later about this". A smile crossed Didi's face and she looked at Jiju.

She saw Didi speak to him, obviously about them .

Didi asked, "Does he know everything about her?" And he said,

"Yes"

Today....

The dim lit bar, drunkards and the rickety stairs... almost everything around was depressing... And I added to it.

Every customer was precious to her. Regular customers got a hi-five or a hug over the counter or a loud bye, Newbies were given a warm and broad smile making them feel comfortable and Random people, like me, went unnoticed (atleast that's what I thought). Each order she took she delivered perfectly. No one cribbed, yelled or complained at her. Her smile maybe did it all.

I kept observing her failing to notice that she did too. Observant, empathetic and expressive is how I can best describe her. She remembered to ask about how the interview was to a 30 year old man who must have visited the bar day before. She reacted listening to one of the customer when he described how the trial went, a pursuit for getting his land back. Everyone was greeted with the same warmth and smile.

I got up from my chair in the dining area and walked towards the bar. At that very moment she came out of the kitchen and handed the bowl of fries to a person standing next to me. She looked at me & asked, "Refill your glass with cognac,sir?' My brows went up, she knew,

"What if I want to change my drink?", I tried to irritate her.

With no change in her demeanour, "After 5 drinks, that is not advisable. But as you wish. What will you have then, sir?"

'5 drinks', I thought. She knew what I was drinking and how many had I already had but surprisingly none of them were served by her. Then how did she know?

"Repeat the cognac, please"

She refilled my glass with the same radiance & warm smile on her face. I stared right into her.

Why was she different? I couldn't reason that out. What is that I do different at home that she is so much different there? The 'is' changes to 'was' I mentally made a note. She no longer was mine. Two signatures did it all today afternoon. I had to go back to the room today to an empty bed. All alone. What would she do? Where would she go? She was alone to. At least that's what I chose to believe.

I took my glass, shot the drink down in one go, banged the glass back on the counter and left.

I waited outside on the street checking my watch time and again. The bar was closing and I waited for her to walk out. After the goodbyes and kisses to her colleagues, she turned to find me there.

"Come... Let's go", I said.

Her expression changed her eyes turned watery. Was it the chill of the night or me?

"Where to?", she enquired. Her voice began to crack.

"Home"
"Our ways are different now"
"Do you've a place to go?"
"I'll find one"
"It's too late in the night to find a place to stay. Till you find a safe place to stay you stay with me"

She tried refuting, fighting her tears back but all I could hear were mumbles. Before she could word them I said,
"I might not be your husband any more. But still am a person you can trust. Someone whom you know. You can stay with me than at some random place"

And our conversation ended there. She nodded & we started walking... On the same road, crossing the same buildings at the same time... like we did in these 3 years...

Things were now going to change. Every minute of this change I dread...

Coupled

I saw her first set the coffee table, magazines & coaster neatly arranged to the side with a coffee mug placed on it. Then the cushions on the sofa! Her wet hair just added to her beautiful face. Each time she dusted the mat, the cover or just about anything her bangles clinked. Orange kurti & white salwar she was ready to go for the sangeet party. Time and again she put a strand of hair behind her ear.. The one that played on her cheek. Finally she stopped turned to see what I was upto. She smiled right into my eyes, caught my stare for a minute longer, a smile that had so much warmth that I felt it from feet away.. Time to get ready...

I kept working trying to not look at him. I could feel his stare behind my back. I blush, a faint uncontrollable smile breaks on my face each time. He always makes me feel special. He always takes efforts to keep it this way. His eyes expressed more than his words. I finally turned to see if he is going to start getting ready. I caught his stare for a minute. His smile captivated my heart. He finally got up from the bed throwing the white sheets behind & walked towards me. I froze waiting to know what next? His arms went over my right shoulder to open the cupboard that I was begining to lean on. His eyes still rested on my eyes. He removed the shirt for the evening sangeet. Waited for my approval which was just a nod.

They were ready to go. She set her dupatta right. He always loved the way she stood in front of the mirror getting ready. He walked behind her, she looked up in the mirror and smiled. The same strand of hair danced on her cheek to the sound of the breeze. He softly tucked the hair behind her ear. Held her close and whispered in her ear, "A thought crossed my mind"... She enquired with her eyes. "Do we really have to go? She looked in his eyes through the mirror, "What shall we do then?" "A dinner date.. Right here! Right now! I shall set the table.. Music shall play.. Lets dance all night!"

She rarely put makeup, she smiled and her cheeks turned pink and her eyes gleamed..
With the same smile she turned, looked & softly spoke to him, "I'll help you set the table.."

Lights... Camera... Action

She turned, struck a pose, smiled.. Click click.. Gasp, awed.. Looked right then left.. A soft wave!!
Her smile, her body, cascading hair, Jimmy Choo shoes, Manish Malhotra's dress, Michael Kors clutch..
No one sees her dense eyes.. Her bruised body, her burnt legs..
Everything about her was perfect! Behind those cameras, people hooting and shouting, everyone wanted to be her, live like her, achieve like, splurge like her..
Little did they know in bloody red the carpet was where she stood today.. How the 'stars' struck her each time before a deal..
The manipulations, lies, broken promises, crushed dreams.. But who doesn't want to be successful.. At all costs. It seductively lured her into this! Success, ha!
She turned her back to the camera and walked in smiling humbly at the guards and other stares who visually molested her..
It was dark just before she could enter the hall. A silent tear rolled from her left eye, she loved this darkness and she let it embrace her for a minute. She carefully wiped the tear with her perfectly manicured index finger.. Cautious enough to not spoil the makeup that hid her scars..
She shot a syringe, threw her head back, composed herself, took a perfect stand.. Like she was about to hit the ramp. The 70mm smile was back!
She was ready for the second scene. As routine she softly mumbled to herself,"It's showtime"

I Bid her adieu...

I turned at the sound of her payal,
Reading  her face was always a trial,
Faint expressions broke lines on her face,
Her eyes looked dazed,
She looked beautiful as always,
Poise, Composed & Frail.
She left a sigh,
As she walked into my arms,
"That's it! I have got it!"
I knew she always wanted it,
How proud I was, just cant explain,
Happy moment, yet it pained,
My best friend is going away,
How I wish could stay,
I need her, difficult bidding her adieu,
Her dreams, her aspirations were always true,
Passport in her hand she was all set,
A eerie silence within me crept,
"Ok... bye... cya" she said as an old habit,
With a smirk, I said "Ya Right!"

She walked towards the terminal,
I didn't want her to turn,
And she didn't, and
I watched her go.

Suddenly my cellphone buzzed,
'Must be her' I judged,
"I will miss you loads...
Paused and then she said, "I need you too"
'Too?' She had read my mind,
A smile broke on my face,
" You take care & call once you reach"
I choked..
And ended it there,
'Goodbye' was difficult to say

Just Friends...

"Just friends?” I questioned,
"Ya, let’s just stay as friends", I hear again,
A pinch, I twitch,
"You sure?" a hope, 'Change quick'
Just a thought,
A tear behind my eyes was caught,
“Yup!” came with a reluctance in the voice,
Knew it all this while,
We had travelled almost a mile,

We sat, dined & now concluded,
Within me something went dead,
“I think I should leave
It’s getting late… I should move”,
“And move on too…” I looked down & said,
Heard a sigh & the moment silenced.

And then a clink,

Round platinum band,
Dropped on the table,
The opposite chair was now empty,
I picked up my coat,
And I was ready to go,
Where???
I do not know…

I'll be there for you... Rightly Said!! :)

Taken:Pre-Ruls

It’s easy to find a friend… But a good one?

I have always met the best of my friends on the 1st day of college there was no end to the story :)… MICA was no surprise… Four rocking girls… A thick gang of 5 with whom I shall spend not just 2 years of MICA but my life… It wasn’t difficult finding them! Just like how it was  back in college…

Taken: My Farewell @Poptates :D

3rd day of Junior college, across the street just-a-school-mate, turned out to become a friend for life. One more added to the duo and tadaaa… Ganpati Decoration committee :P *grrr… missed it this time* We meet twice or maybe thrice an year but those are the ones with longest nights and super fun… Tedious work… Gossip… and loadzzz of crap!

Taken:Runwal...Apna Adaa

Bike rides and rain… Travel 3 kms on the bike just to tell my other friend a “Hi”… Only he could do it for me at that hour :P *Remember???!!! hahaha* A guy with whom my journey started and never ended …It’s just a mutual relationship that even though we don’t  meet for ages but yet there for each other… Any day… Any time of the day!

Taken:25.08.07

Never expected to meet him he stuck around with me for 6 years now… Through thick and thin he was there… always around… A person sure can become one’s lifeline and that’s exactly what he means to me… And the journey with him would need a new blog entry!! :P

Taken:@Meenal's place after Mad dancing at Poison

Jai Hind would have been crazily difficult without them… Finally found people who were level headed & just like me! :p Partying, frolicking, having fun… 3 years passed by and yet many more years to come of similar fun :D…!

Taken:Parking Lot.. Kores Nakshatra

New day… New colony… Adjusting would have been a problem… But the Diwali decoration and Kandil making night made a huge difference in my life today… 9 hours of pure creativity and talking crap… We became friends for life!!!

Taken:@Meadows

7th G best defines him… A pillar… A support… during the worst days of my life… I tried being there for him whenever he need me… And I know for sure… I haven’t disappointed him :)…

Taken: During Last week at T.I.M.E. Mulund

My second job would have been a drab without her! My vocab guide… a friend an awesome shopping companion ;) 10 A.M. two hours before reaching office we used to reach the mall… (“,) To shop, obviously! :)Word games to life games she was with me!!

Reason why I dedicated this blog to all my closest pals?

Taken:TermI End @MICA

Baddy court… a day when I was phased out… Everyone around was stressed… But yet I found one person to talk my heart out to… And he made me realise how easy it is for me to find great friends… Even at a new place like MICA!! :)

To be continued Part 5

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

She loved the expression on his face. It flushed when she said "Check... and Mate!" She always preferred her coffee hot, but her last sip of her favourite decaf latte tasted the best lukewarm today. With her hands folded and upright posture she looked at his eyes. They were still on the chess board trying to figure out a way this could be undone... “Maybe the Queen, the Bishop... something that could block the way of the Rooks.” The white rooks were strategically placed at a2 and b1. "Damn the Knight!!" she read his mind. She smiled...

One word described him best... Charming! His opening the door for her at Macy's, his smile and the way he looked was just flattering. She had never been out with a guy like him. The walk from Macy's to Just Around the Corner was a quiet one. When they entered, a natural instinct took over her. She ordered her coffee, didn't wait for him to offer her the seat & chose the white side for the game of chess. That was who she was and for the first time she did not want to fake it. Because she knew he didn’t either.

She saw him pass a wink at the waitress and waved a ‘Hi’ to the guys on the counter. “Hmmm… looks like he comes here often! Or does he know everyone around? Macy’s and now here? Hmmm… the waitress looks kind of his types… He sure seems to have gone out with her… Must he be dating someone? Do I really…” “Shall we?” he said breaking her thoughts mid way, pointing towards the chess board.

His nonchalance helped her sway the game in her favour. She didn't take her eyes off the chessboard and his eyes never left her face. Though she did not look up often she knew he was constantly trying to know her... understand her... rather just judge her. "Not so easy mister!” she thought. He wasn't easy to play with… “He doesn't seem like he plays often but he has his style... I like that!” she admired. “The Knights… Looks like you rule the game with them" she commented. He was concentrating on the game now and nodded his head in agreement. He judged her strength in matter of 5 steps after he resumed his game.

Achilles Heel was wounded! 17th move and he snatched her Queen. “How the hell did he come to know? I didn’t even over use it… Did he just assume? Damn it!” frustrated she looked down at her bag, “That’s how… The keychain… Impressed! Now what? The Knights… Go for the kill!”

They played back and forth back and forth and finally she found the weak spot. 9 steps and both the Knights were pocketed. “Yes! Handicapped…” silently she rejoiced with no expression on her face. 2 steps more, “Check… and mate!”

He finally threw his hands in the air and said, “Yes! You win!” She looked at her watch and mischievously said, “I realised it 5 seconds back… What took you so long?” He raised his left brow and smiled at her quick witted retort. “Great game must say. And you sure dominate! Is it the love for the game or a personality trait?” he winked.

“It’s my personality trait that complements this game” “Ah… I see! Ever played professionally?” “Played during my college days… and regularly with my… dad” she said it with a pause. “What about you?” she asked casually to continue the conversation making sure the “dad” thing is ignored.

“Yeah! Used to play during my university days… Was a State Champion for consecutive 2 years!”

Surprised and shocked, “What??” is how she wanted to exclaim but stopped herself at “Whaa…” composed herself and finally asked a complete question, “What went wrong today, Mr. State Champion?” He seemed to enjoy the attention, “Yup… It isn’t easy to accept that I have lost… besides your moves were very smart and unpredictable… and was playing after years… besides, the Knights…. also I was distracted most of the time during the game. Hah! Forget it!” “Distracted? By what?” she mocked by looking around.

He rested his hands on the table leaned forward, smiled and said, “Unlike today, during those 2 years I never met an opponent who was not just intelligent but also beautiful! It sure was difficult to look at the boring board with an interesting muse in front.”

She tried hard but couldn’t stop blushing. She looked at her watch again trying to distract her mind. “Are you getting late? Hope I am not keeping you from something important”

Her eyes met his for almost the first time when she said, “No rush to go anywhere. Besides don’t have anywhere to go.” This was all she thought he needed to know now. Maybe… this was all he needed to know! After all this was just another grey T-shirt guy, who she will never see again… Or would she want to?

Something about him was appealing. She couldn’t place it though. Was it his charm? Or his intelligence? Nothing about him was fake everything was natural; unlike those men who dressed in tuxedos for a date and put up their best behaviour on for that one night. He was modest, chivalrous and plain. She didn’t know where this day was heading to but she was enjoying after a really long time… “2 years… was a really long time” she remembered.

He looked at his watch and she could see he needed to go. Before she could speak, he asked, “So you were here to shop, right?” “Yes” “Hmmm… want to continue looking at Macy’s could help you get some great stuff there. That is if you are okay with it?” “That’s fine with me” She remembered the hoots from behind the counter when they left the store at half past eleven and now it was almost two. Their time had passed and it was time for him...

…to get back to work

Goodbye...

"Goodbye" was difficult to say,
Every breath I prayed,
As I hugged you before my depart,
Re-lived... Our past,
2 years... Time would fly,
Sweet but still... A lie,
I came to this foreign land,
Became a part of this 'brand',
It accepted me instantly,
Happy! A choice made accurately,
Amongst all cheers & talks like Freud,
A part of me was still void,
Incomplete... Halved... You were behind,
Waiting to hear my voice as you dined,
Each call made it difficult,
Our bond could feel the thrust,
Am I not single? Am I not alone?
As you are not here to complete me,
Am I not single? Am I not by myself?
My family, My world, You... are not around,
A day more is difficult to pass,
Want to run into your arms,
The thought makes me all jittery,
Can't wait to be there,
Yet again the very next day,
"Goodbye" will be difficult to say!! :(

To be continued.. Part 4 by Pankhuri

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3


"Please..." "Again?? Plus you just came in..." "What if I didn't come at all? What if I called in sick? Not like I planned this..." "She is not even your type... Worse... Not even your league..." "C'mon don't be pessimistic now..." "See i never say no to you... Anyways when can you cover up?" "Whenever you say... Maybe when Jack or Chris bunks?" "Hmmm... I'll need you later more than now..." "You are the best!!" Wasn't so tough after all. His manager was not half as bad as one would think!

His car or mine? Who should be the one to offer if at all? Ideally he should... Technically she should... she thought. Anyways!! As they walked out of the store he pointed out to the cafe. Phew!! Right across the street... Well good; she sighed.

"Nice weather, huh?" for some this could be a lame conversation starter... For her... Perfect!! Weather has somehow of very high importance to her. Good weather sometimes was all she needed for a quick mood lift.

"Yeah... Might rain... Hope it does!" "Hmmm..." What now? He can't really ask her if she liked rains; one its not the best direction to take the conversation & two she just said that!

He was beginning to get slightly fidgety... What if they had nothing to talk about? What if he couldn't match up to the expectations? What if she won the game? This was so unlike him...

She was starting to get a little fidgety... What if she had just got herself a bad deal? What if this was just an impulsive reaction to what some may call a bad day? What if she gets stuck in the game? He was not exactly her Mr. Perfect. This was so unlike her...

"Wanna grab a bite..." Nope! They are going to a cafe... "So, where do you live?" Nope again! None of his business... "Where do you work?" Nope no.3... Sounds creepy. He never thought so much before talking to anyone... Why now?

"So, where are you from?", she said in a tone that said 'I don't really wanna know... But I'm not asking for the heck of it.'
Bam!! The wrongest question anyone could have asked him...

For he himself, really didn't know...

To be continued 3

Part 1: click here
Part 2: click here

"Hi"; and held out her hand...

A soft handshake making sure he doesn't crush her delicate hand. He was mesmerised by her beauty.

On any other day, she would have shrugged and moved on, but today it was different. During her drive till Macy's, she argued with her alter-ego... questioned... judged & weighed the pros and cons. And finally concluded... pros weighed more! One silent promise to herself, "I will let go... And I shall do it at any cost!" And when the price to pay is a handsome and charming man.. it wasn't difficult to abide by her rules. She smiled naturally...

He realised he had held her hand more than 30 seconds now had started to stare. He let his grip loose; and she pulled her hand back. Not knowing what to do with her hand she started fidgeting with her bag. She looked down at his worn out shoes... jeans that hadn't been washed since god knows how many days; a grey coloured round collar T-shirt hung loosely from his broad shoulders. He wasn't heavily built; but adequate enough to swipe a girl off her feet. A tanned chiselled unshaven face with soft eyes that didn't look away from her face.

"So... looking for something specific in here?" He finally spoke breaking the silence not knowing where the conversation shall lead to. "Actually no... just looking around!"
"Hmmm... Have you come to this outlet before?" "No... 1st time" "1st time yeah... Thought so! Haven't seen you before."

She was cheeky enough to ask, "You remember everyone who comes here?" She wore a sly smile...

He smiled subtly and replied, " A beautiful face is hard to forget!"

Her cheeks turned pink... she diverted her mind by looking at the tank top she held. 'Shopping was therapeutic' she agreed to the thought that passed her mind and she smiled.

"Hmmm... Do you have any plans this afternoon?" "Depends..." "On?" "On what you propose?"

She wasn't someone who could be taken for a ride. She marked herself as a strong and confidant woman... Just as she was behind the wheel... In control!!

He was impressed & intrigued by her. The statement portrayed her intellect and the courage to turn his offer down if it was lame. He saw an interesting metal key chain hanging out from her purse... A Queen (in the game of chess). Mentally he arranged his words as one does on the tile rack during the game of Scrabble. Finally he spoke,

"Nothing fancy... We can play a game of chess with a cup of coffee... A coffee shop right round the corner offers that... Does that interest you?" His heart beat rose every second and watched her lips when they made a perfect 'O' backed it with a 'K'. A sigh of relief!

He excused himself for a minute. She stood there watching him stride towards the cash counter. He gently bent and nodded his head to people he knew (it was mutual; people knew him too and gestured in similar manner), waved to some, fondly looked at the kids' who were running in the store, placed the things that fallen down on the aisle back on the counter... She was amused by his charm and by his quick wit. She still doesn't know what made her say "OK"... His presence of mind or her interest in chess?

She eagerly waited for this interesting day to unfold...

Part 4: click here!

Principles of Pizza Eating

"Spontaneous" has always been clicked on my Johari window by the people I know. And it was evidently seen on 2nd of August 2010. That's when I realised there were 3 more idiots like me.

South Indian food at the mess was welcomed as a change but not by all. Southies exaclaimed "Bhai Wah!!" & blessed the soul of Messcomm. But our friend Pankhuri despised this cuisine a form of dinner. She lost her appetite but was left with no choice. She asked me to pick up a masala dosa for her. We were trying to find a place to sit when I saw Shaunak & Sahil *our partners in crime-as the story progresses* sitting at the extreme end of the mess hall and said, "Let's sit there". Pankhuri suggested we should sit on an empty table as we were six of us but then later as usual closed her statement concluding I am okay with whatever suits you. I said that lets sit with them as people were getting up & there was enough place now *A move because of which this blog came to being :P*.

We reached the table & sat. The uninviting food made us discuss about Pizzzaaass, Dominoes... and how much we missed it... blah blah... At that very moment *9.33 P.M.* there was one spontaneous comment by Sahil, "Jana hain kya?" Shaunak & I obviously said a Yes!! Pankhuri was already irritated with the menu jumped to this offer. Kruti, Sam, Meeta & Nidhi had already filled their plates so they didn't want to go. Shaunak & Sahil (who by the way were done with their dinner) were super excited about it too. Just Dial aided us... Dominoes was called.. 'no non-veg pizza' *hahahaha Shaunak and Sahil*. Pankh dashed to her room for her car keys. In a span of 10 mins we were out of the mess hall and at the parking area...

"3 medium pizza- 1 Mexican Green Wave, 1 Farm house & 1 Gourmet.. Ya all hand tossed!!", Shaunak rambled on the phone. *My mouth waters as I write this* And we were all set to go! We switched the car radio on, and as usual the most horrible songs were being played. It took 3 clicks on the seek button to enlighten me that my phone (Nokia N-79) has a feature- 'FM Transmitter' *Yes, I am showing off 'cause we could listen to beautiful songs all thanks to my phone (",)*. The weather made our impromptu trip perfect!! The rains... splashes... weird truck drivers... bike riders a.k.a. 'poor souls'...

And finally we made it! We planned on hogging 2 pizzas there itself as the Hot Pizza and Cold weather couldn't keep our craving down. 1 Farmhouse & 1 Mexican Green Wave, 2 bottles of Coco-cola & 4 Pizzaaa Lovverrss!! The 1st minute we savoured the yummy pizza before we started talking again *the chatterboxes that we are*. As marketing students, there were various concepts we talked... but about pizza eating ;). We ended up making a 2 x 2 matrix of the satiety level we were at after 3 slices of pizza.

Can eat No More Can Eat Some More

Can Eat Little More Can Eat More

Each one of us could be categorised in one of these boxes. It was coined as 'Principles of Pizza Eating' and that's when Pankhuri exclaimed, "Hai Re mere Pizzzzza!"

We took the last box of Pizza & 2 Bottles of Coco-cola and walked back to the car in the rain... Back to Hostel where Laughcomm waited for us!! (",)

Psst-My love for Pizza can be vouched by my blog entry 25 Random Things about me

To be continued..

A scarf, a pair of sunglasses & a convertible would best define her. A red Datsun parked in the garage was waiting for her. She gulped the last sip of coffee, gobbled the last bite of the bread; clutched her purse, the car keys; closed the door behind her. With a perfect poise she opened the car door, sat and adjusted the mirror the seat. Every move she made was well articulated and musical. A performance!

She slowly drove her car out of the garage to the street and stopped. She took her position just like a driver at the pole position pressed a button to drop the car hood down. Full clutch and she zoomed.

Indeed she was the woman behind the wheel, completely in control. She took perfect turns and overtook keeping in mind all the rules. The radio played the top twenty list. Some were her favourites (she hummed along), some bought back lot of memories some she really didn't care. The wind gently hit her face and caressed her hair. It brought with it.. Thoughts!

Shopping is considered as therapy by most people & that's exactly what she was going to test today. She felt alone for the 1st time. Rather she chose it!! She missed her childhood birthdays- the presents, new clothes more so the people. She wouldn't have missed all this till a day before. But today it was different & difficult. As she enjoyed her ride the sound of wind spoke volumes. She was apathetic about her own feelings & emotions. She enjoyed the breeze, the music & the drive. The fact she was in full control gave her a kick!!

Part 2: click here!
Part 3: click here! 
Part 4: click here!

Hope & Wait..

She:
His arms held her in full swing,
When she was busy working,
It was a suprise,
Her laptop was prised,
He held her close to his heart,
A move that was very smart,
She gave in & cuddled,
After long she felt loved..

He:
He tried hard to woo,
His love for her was true,
Last night they danced,
This was his last chance,
He just tried to be there,
Whenever, wherever he can,
Just like how she was,
In difficult & happiest of his times..

He+She:
His stare.. His eyes lured,
Her voice.. Her lips cured,
His arms griped around her,
She could feel the thrust,
He hoped.. For this moment to last..
She waited.. For this moment to pass..!!

Its always a pleasure knowing people...

Its always a pleasure knowing people... We meet interact and then hear their perspective.. So many things you agree and so many you differ in... But still its always nice to have known someone... Someone special.. Some acquaintance.. a Hi-Bye Friend... Or even a close friend... Yes at times it might just end up in a fight.. But so what? Least you found a new reason as to why a fight happens :P... You learn... then re-learn! And it extends the horizons of your perspective...

There are times you feel you have seen enough but then you meet someone with more horrifying experiences and then it dawns on you.. You went through nothing and you empathize... A common fallacy everyone makes is by saying, "I understand".. Never say it if you don't mean it.. The path you choose to solve a problem may not be the right path for him/her... You need not understand but just be the shoulder that can comfort... By either physically present there or emotionally present on the other side of the phone :)!

As you meet and experience more and more people you realise how little you can judge about some one and how different each one is. Cheers to all the people whom you have known and to the people you are yet to know....! I close my note with what I started... Its always a pleasure knowing people... :D

Quick quick... Slow!!

Quick quick... slow
Quick quick... slow
Turn about, and
Round you go
Giggles and Laughs
Tickles and Falls
Back again
On the floor!
One more turn
Your heart wants more
Happiness and Smiles
'Ole!!', the group cries
One more step
The final stance
Claps & Hoots
That's the Magic of Dance!!

Road to MICA..

MICA has been always a dream. A dream that I wanted to achieve since I was in 12th. One documentary of Mudra (the ad agency) and its school MICA in the year 2004 on BBC left a footprint. This was the only college I ever wanted to be in and HERE I AM!!
So I can pretty much say I know how it feels on achieving a Dream!!
Right from the time I walked through the gate for my GE/PI I knew this is where I had to come. On 12th April my GE and case study was done at around 11.30. My interview was the last one for that day. Honestly I was pretty prepared for the interview except for one question. WHY MICA??
I could have answered that I wanted to pursue this since 5 years. I doubted if that it might just not be taken seriously and consider that as a bluff.
The aesthetics of the campus-its brick walls sandwiched between cement-no plaster & colour. Pure and crude earthen colours of the buildings with lush green lawns was in such a perfect sync. My interview was scheduled at 5.30 P.M. I soaked as much as I could during this 6 hours on the campus-looking around, exploring or just sitting in the auditorium with green purple pink & blue drapes hung on either sides of the wall *I felt as though I was at Hogwarts ;)*. I blinked and finally the answer to my one final question “Why MICA?”
The answer was simple and straight, “It is a natural choice”. That’s when I realised I that this was just a place where I had to be. No fancy answer could have been devised for this one question. If I could just say it with the same passion that would be all.
And yes indeed it worked!! BAM! A spot offer! Man makes his own destiny by the choices he makes today. And this is one of those choices I shall never regret in my life.
And I am not judging it too early! These last 4 days at MICA showed me I am at the right place. My interactions with my peers, the alumni & the faculty showed how like minded they are. One night our conversation centred on paranormal activities, tarot & different sources of energy & next morning we are in the auditorium comprehending what the alumni was speaking about the companies, the market, job opportunities & careers. This is one place where interest & career are on the same plate. It’s the versatility that this B-School encourages.
These 4 days unusually so, I haven’t missed home or Mumbai. I already feel a part of this family welcoming me to The MICA-World.

This is Me...

"This is real
This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me"

I hear Demi Lovato sing this & I feel she sings this for me... MICA is truly a place for me...! The song describes perfectly what's going in my mind now..!! :D

Excerpt from my day 6.5.10

Each time I click on this link I feel so happie... I love this page coz I can just vent it all out.. The series of this Scholar Loan *read:Educational Loan* saga that is going in my lyf since this past one and half week has frustrated my to the core (maybe that's why I write this). After an eight and half hour duty each at work I come home for an other 2-4 hour discussion on what documents? what to attest? originals in one file..xeroxes in other!! My obsessive father asks me 10 times where this or that paper is kept? where is the original? Each tym he asks with the same innocence that I cant fire back at him. They have always been my "punching bags". All my frustration and irritation used be all out on them till maybe last month. Just the fact that I am not going to be around for 2 years has calmed me down.

This realisation of not being around has hit me hard. These 2 years is something that I longed for so many years and finally I get it! But not being around with my family friends & loved ones sure makes me emotional at times. Evryone wud agree this is something very rare.

There sure are lot of things I will miss. And dealing with them alongside work and this stupid loan, that just doesn't seem to end, is getting difficult. I needed to flush it out & what better place than this!! This is one place that is going to remain with my through out my lyf. I promise to write the most in these 2 years starting from today just so that each one out there experience it with me. 2 years from now I'll be on the other side of the shore when I shall be back and miss "the" years more.. And this blog is going to help me re-live it.. Evry step I take evry move I make at MICA is on this blog!!! :)

Signing off mi amigos!