Everyone said it was for the good. Lucky woman. She was called to the heavens door in her sleep. Best still, she was a "suhagan". Only the blessed get this kind of death.
Indeed, she was special. Now I know, that she was special, not only to me. We shared every aspect of life together. Through thick and thin. But why did she keep this from me when she knew it was coming. Ofcourse she knew. The desperation to do things she wouldn't do in her sane mind. All she had to do was warn. At least my heart would have expected the unexpected.
I need answers but who will answer it now? There's a puja tomorrow what do I wear? Have you watched this movie who's this actor? What happens to Kaveri Amma in the serial? You think it makes sense to invest in that plot around Mysore?
Questions. Many. Answers. None.
Today afternoon I was there right next to her. With my eyes closed. If I knew that when she slept she was never going to wake up ever again, I would have sat and watched her every move till the soul left her body. We were soul mates. And yet she didn't call out my name once before she left. Just to say, see you again... in the next life.
People say she has gone. I still feel her around. And here I'm surrounded with people who matter and some who don't. But the one who mattered the most is lying lifeless in front of me.
I say is it fair? She might have been lucky. But what about me? What am I supposed to do? Watch the pyre engulf her in flames? Or wait for the doctors to say it was a mistake her heart beat is fickle? Or just plainly move on? What next?
Questions. Many. Answers. None.
The final mile, her body is being lifted. And I sit here motionless with emotions running through me that no one can see. All I can do, I realize is watch her go. Helpless. In silence.
-Diary entry of a man who lost his wife in her sleep when he was right next to her. They were completing 50 years of togetherness in February 2013 but fate had different plans.
Indeed, she was special. Now I know, that she was special, not only to me. We shared every aspect of life together. Through thick and thin. But why did she keep this from me when she knew it was coming. Ofcourse she knew. The desperation to do things she wouldn't do in her sane mind. All she had to do was warn. At least my heart would have expected the unexpected.
I need answers but who will answer it now? There's a puja tomorrow what do I wear? Have you watched this movie who's this actor? What happens to Kaveri Amma in the serial? You think it makes sense to invest in that plot around Mysore?
Questions. Many. Answers. None.
Today afternoon I was there right next to her. With my eyes closed. If I knew that when she slept she was never going to wake up ever again, I would have sat and watched her every move till the soul left her body. We were soul mates. And yet she didn't call out my name once before she left. Just to say, see you again... in the next life.
People say she has gone. I still feel her around. And here I'm surrounded with people who matter and some who don't. But the one who mattered the most is lying lifeless in front of me.
I say is it fair? She might have been lucky. But what about me? What am I supposed to do? Watch the pyre engulf her in flames? Or wait for the doctors to say it was a mistake her heart beat is fickle? Or just plainly move on? What next?
Questions. Many. Answers. None.
The final mile, her body is being lifted. And I sit here motionless with emotions running through me that no one can see. All I can do, I realize is watch her go. Helpless. In silence.
-Diary entry of a man who lost his wife in her sleep when he was right next to her. They were completing 50 years of togetherness in February 2013 but fate had different plans.
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