The Woman Behind The Veil

A year ago, I had attended a typical Hindu wedding. Weddings in India can be boisterous thanks to the band that plays Bollywood wedding songs, greetings of people who may be close or not so close in a loud manner, women sitting & gossiping as to who’s daughter or son was seen with whom & pass their own judgments about what they saw & it goes on & on. The wedding was definitely a lavish one & every expense was clearly visible from lights to ‘mandap’ (where the ritual takes place) to the decorations. The venue was near a lake, so even the place was cool & windy. It was not a marriage of some close relative of mine but of the daughter of my mother’s colleague. Many of them I did not know & some could recollect meeting at some party or occasion. The place was full of life & beaming with lights in yellow, red, green & blue.

When we arrived the ‘7 pheras’(Hindu ritual of marriage where the bride and the groom go around the holy fire 7 times taking their marital vows), was about to end. Most of them were busy with their own talks & least interested in the occasion they had actually come for- MARRIAGE. But with me it was vice-versa. I was looking at the bride who was looking very beautiful in her sari & ornaments complementing her look.

It was a traditional Hindu marriage & I could say that because the bride had taken the ‘palu’ (i.e. the part of sari which is left over the shoulder) around her head. It acts like a veil & symbolises woman with self-respect and denotes the schema of woman; her shyness. As I saw the bride taking her vows I sat to think; what next? What about her life ahead? It’s like a new beginning altogether for her. All this while she lived her life for herself & her parents & now everything will be substituted to hear husband’s needs & wants, her in-laws happiness, new relations & so on. Her independence from now on will depend on whims of her new life, which will set with years to come.

Rituals came to an end & the knot was tied for eternity. Then came FOOD. Food was served & must say was a delicious and a savouring experience. After sometime the food session ended & people came back to the seats. The bride and the groom were chatting with the guests & they were being congratulated and were given best wishes for future. All this while I just kept looking at the bride. She was happy but still coy, scared still smiling, but what spoke volumes were those Eyes.

And then came the moment of sadness- The Bidai (farewell of the bride from her parents house). Indians love this ritual the most as they get to cry, cry in volumes. And women credited to it. Related or not related, known or not known everyone’s a part of this melodrama. I still haven’t got the psychology of such people, what are they crying for? Remembering the way they departed from their families & how lives are ruined now, or for some remembering the fact that soon even their daughters are going to get married and leave & definitely some cry for the sole reason- everyone’s crying!!

Jokes apart, it is truly difficult moment for the mother and father of the bride. 23 years of upbringing to see this day. The bride cries too, clinging on to her mother to whom she has clinged on everyday & today for the last time. She can’t let go but finally has to. She still has her ‘palu’ (veil) on her head & sat in the car. I stood there watching all this & she looked around for the last time & by chance her eyes met mine. And those EYES kept me thinking till today. Eyes filled with tears, fear, anxiety, hope, love, faith, belief, values, & above all Destiny.

What happens then? She goes to her new house to her new set of adjustments and compromise. She tied the knot with one man but that knot goes beyond her man. It extends to new relations & maintaining those, different eating habits & patterns of life, rituals & customs & many more.

A week after the wedding my mother’s same colleague called up & asked her to come over to see the photographs of the wedding. I went along too. Scanning through so many photographs, my eye caught the one during the ‘bidai’. It was the same moment when she looked at me & the photographer was able to capture it. Those same eyes & the same whirlpool of emotions in them.

I asked for a copy of that photograph & named behind it-

The Woman Behind The Veil!

signin off,
Me..!